THE INTERSECTION — I’m waiting for the traffic light to turn green while listening to some knuckle-dragger on the radio explain that global warming is due to Daylight Saving Time “because we now have an extra hour of sunshine.” The traffic light changes, but every Texas motorist knows not to spring out into the intersection [...]

Stand by for yet another wave of immigrants. No, not from south of the border or even from college campuses where 36-year-olds have overstayed their student visas by 17 years and have no intention of returning to Nigeria. Not the Icelanders and Finns seeking political asylum. I am talking about interpreters, some 8,000 Afghans working [...]

THE ATTIC – These are some dusty Guy Fawkes Day decorations, no doubt made by him and worth a fortune. This calendar is priceless if 1995 ever comes back. What museum wants my battered suitcase I took to Romania to see real paranoid governance, long before the Tea Party existed? Eat your heart out, Randy [...]

Dear Member of Congress, I can no longer refer to you as “Congressman” since 97, or 18.1 percent, of the 535 seats in Congress, are held by females, and I really don’t know who you are. I just vote a straight party ballot, as did a record 64 percent of Texas voters in last November’s [...]

THE PHONE — “Yes, your credit card has been compromised. But we will send you a new one with a new number,” says the voice from my credit company, House O’ Cards. I reply: “By ‘compromised’ you mean hacked, stolen, breaking and entering. I used your company’s plastic instead of carrying cash because I thought [...]

The worst job in the state must be head of the Texas Democratic Party. Some poor soul has that job, and it speaks volumes that almost no one knows who he or she is, where that person lives, works, votes and plays Lotto. But let us say that you got the slot. (Your politics aside, [...]